Q: “Where do you get your protein?”

UPDATED 2023/06/29

Several months into my diet change, I was asked The Question.

In the meat department of a grocery store, by a meat cutter of all people.

I’m friendly with this guy at the dayjob, he knew I used to like Korean fried chicken, and was asking if I’d tried out this new restaurant in town yet. This was 2020, and I explained I hadn’t been going out much because of the pandemic, and was using the time to work on the plant-based thing instead. Given our past conversations about eating meat, he found this a little surprising. Then he hits me with The Question, and starts guzzling a protein shake out of a mixer cup.

I swear this is true. He was really drinking a protein shake.

Right then I'm hit with the feeling of oh-wow-it's-happening-to-me, and reliving the times I'd asked the exact same question to other people in years past (usually rhetorically), and I just blurt out "I get my protein from the food I eat, same as you."

Oh fuck.

As I'm speaking the words I realize that it's not a very good answer at all, confirmed by the reaction of the meat cutter—in unison his eyebrows drop, eyes narrow and shoulders slump and he swallows his mouthful of his shake, nods and ducks into the cooler, back to work.

I used to be like the meat cutter; young and lifting heavy at the gym, trying to eat well and grow bowling-ball muscles. My understanding of dietary protein was probably identical to his when I was that age, and then ossified for the fifteen to twenty years in between, up until I started learning how plant-based works.

Prior, I had no idea that protein wasn't a food group.

I had no idea that one could be athletic eating only plant-based.

I had no idea about the protein content of plant-based food.

I had no idea how to prepare high protein, plant-based meals.

I didn't even know how to order this sort of food at restaurants.

Would it make me skinny? Turn me into a wimp? Shift my politics?

I had no reference point whatsoever. I literally couldn’t even imagine what my meals would look like throughout the day if they didn’t have some animal bits in them. When I’d see photos of plant-based foods in recipes, or someone’s meal in a restaurant, it always looked like it was missing important parts.

I didn't know anything.

"I get my protein from the food I eat, same as you."

It's a little dismissive isn't it? Sort of implying that it's a silly and tired question that should be obvious to everyone. But I had to spend time wrapping my head around dietary protein, and when an opportunity came up to share how interesting and fun plant-based protein actually is, I forgot what it was like to be new at something.

I've done better since then.

For years at the dayjob I've written myself scripts for all sorts of encounters; weekly small-talk and different ways to answer how's-it-going (I see the same couple of hundred faces on a weekly basis - this is sanity preserving), handling common objections and discussing problems with the clients, and so forth. I read a book by personal finance blogger Ramit Sethi, and he put me onto the idea of scripting calls to the bank, phone and cable companies to get fees waived and bills reduced, permanently; they all worked, and now I'm a total believer in the technique.

Here's my script to answer The Question:

Now, lets unpack my answer, piece by piece:

Oh... that's actually a really good question

The oh is delivered with a big exhale, like I'm remembering a really hard, annoying task that I begrudgingly finished, and then I confirm that what they're asking is a good question, with eye contact and a little nod - eye contact to signal I'm paying attention to them and the nodding is yes-yes-yes body language.

in a nutshell

This is telling them the answer isn't going to take very long.

I started out with stuff like tofu, and also lots of rice and beans

Here's what they're asking for; a little hint of what we eat instead of meat, the implication being that protein isn't an animal-based food group. This also provides an answer of abundance, alluding to a behaviour that I'm engaging in (and that another person could engage in, too) rather than talking about a behaviour I'm avoiding and not engaged in - I'm not abstaining from meat, I'm eating plant-based.

Protein didn't turn out to be the hard part

Here's the pivot.

This will either end the conversation, or they'll ask what the hard part was and you can talk about any of the actual hard parts—grocery shopping, eating out, meal prep... The challenges with plant-based are largely the same with any diet change, and that last line gets you off of a subject that neither of you are likely experts in.

We're not done yet. There's one last thing — very important.

This is a script, so the next step is to copy it into your phone, or write it out onto a piece of paper or into a journal or notebook (I like pen & paper).

Then you read it aloud to yourself.

Then do it again, and again and again.

How does it sound? If my language doesn't fall out of your mouth automatically, change the wording to your own. Keep practicing aloud.

Speak slower. Seriously, you're talking too fast.

Go practice in the mirror. Observe your body language.

The endgame is to appear as if you're speaking naturally & unscripted, using conversational speech and not speaking like you're doing a bad job quoting from a textbook or composing a text message to Siri. It takes a lot of practice, but if you're using scripting elsewhere you're fitting in extra reps already and it all begins to work a little faster the more practiced you become.

Many in the the longtime plant-based community seem to view the question as an eye-rolling, off-topic inconvenience, when in fact it's omnivores sticking their foot in the door saying 'hang on just a second'. Instead of slamming the door here, how about using a little empathy instead? I always assume the best about the other party, and that they're legitimately interested; sure, there will always be some asshole asking the question rhetorically, but... maybe they're just as socially retarded as everyone else I've been. Maybe they're working on it—like me.

Or maybe they’re just being a contrarian asshole.

Either way, it's an opportunity to practice our little script, practice another facet of our people skills and maybe leave the door open for someone else to try out a plant-based journey of their own.

So… how do you answer the question? Do you use scripts in your life? Have you tried out my script?

You can also read my 60 second read (honestly) article about what protein actually is .

Let me know in the comments below.